Well, helloooo 2022! The year I turn 44 on 8/22. Synchronistic?? Fuck yea!! I know that this year is going to be one hell of a year. it's going to be MY year. Well, all of our years if we allow it to be ;). It's going to be dynamite. Fireworks is what my Guides told me. Like a big EXPLOSION of our Heart space.
I live for Heart work, so I am quite excited for the year to come.
And of course, with the Light, comes the shadows. When we shine our light so bright, our shadows have to come forth. This is why we shine our light. To bring the shadows out. It is only from here, that we can integrate them INTO the light. You see, our shadows are our Light, too. They just haven't been shone upon yet.
As I take my first steps into 2022, allow me to reflect on 2021.
Let me reflect on all the brilliant, yet painful lessons that I have learnt. Let me reflect on all the joy and laughs, and all the sadness and grief I have endured. Let me reflect on the person that I was, and the person that I have come here to be. Let me reflect on the person that no longer serves me, and the person that is here to stay. Come join me as I take a step back in time, and integrate my past, into my present and future.
2021 started out very aligned. My writing had taken off, and I was in a whole new level of alignment. I was connecting to the "Power of Love" daily and allowing this power to guide me throughout the day.
I had fallen in love with someone. And then I discovered that he was with someone else. It crushed me. But if you know me, you know I don't stay down for long.
I had then tried to rekindle a lost friendship I had. A friendship that meant the world to me. But it was still too painful to keep intact. There was too much history. Very painful history that I knew couldn't be healed from while we were in contact. This led me to leave my second family at the time. My Soul expressed to me the importance of stepping away. This was probably the most painful decisions of my life. This heartache still remains with me to this day. But also the most important decision of my life. It was the precursor to all the other magic that has and still continues to come forth.
I had come out to the world and social media, expressing who I am at my fullest. My psychic abilities, bullying I've endured and all. This was something so new to me, and something I kept hidden with fear of ridicule and being shamed for it. However, it was taken with such love and admiration, which allowed me to dip my toes further in the sand.
I moved into my dream cottage on the most beautiful and magical property I could have ever imagined. Words can't express how blessed I feel to live here. And to the Lenape nation for allowing me to reside on what once was their land.
I had then gained back the one relationship that means the most to me. That of the relationship with my son. I spent the first whole summer with him since mine and his father's separation. It was like a dream come true. The best summer of my life.
It might very well be the last one that we spend in its entirety together, but I will always have the magic summer of 2021 to turn back to. The summer I will never forget.
I had also gotten a bull's eye rash and flee infestation this summer. Lyme symptoms also showed up after my son parted ways and went back to school. If you know my story, you will know that Lyme is what started my conscious journey, back in 2013. So this was a huge step forward into the depths of my cocoon. Into the depths of my Soul.
This led to healing at a deeper level than ever before. Working with a mentor, Angell Deer, the magic of plants, and my very own breath, I have healed such deep and dark demons that had lived inside of me for so long. Deep pain and trauma of my ancestors. Of my past lives. Deep sexual trauma. Remembrances. Reenactments. The feeling of getting molested over and over again while fully conscious and at work. Horrible pain that ate me at my core. Horrible pain that hit me right at the end of 2021. Pain that I'm still digging into as we enter January, the month of cocooning and connection to Self.
I had gained a new Tribe. A tribe that is more aligned with my beliefs and core values.
I had learned to protect my boundaries firmer and with more love than ever before. The love for myself that I have gained enabled me to stick to these boundaries like never before, and to let go of all that wasn't of alignment with where I was going.
I finally can say that I truly love myself. I am damn proud of the woman I am today. And the woman that has endured it all...highest of highs...and what comes along with it, the lowest of lows.
I learned who my true friends are. And the friends that needed to take a back seat, that weren't for my highest of good.
I had begun promoting myself and all my brilliant Shamanic talents that the world deserves to partake in. Because for once, I KNOW the magic I hold, and the magic that I can bring forth to this Universe.
I have started awesome and exciting new projects. Embracing shamanism with deep trauma work & social justice...a combination I can't wait to take further.
I was more vulnerable than ever before. And I have been rejected more times than ever before.
I laughed greater, and cried deeper.
I showed up more fully, and I allowed myself to be a complete hermit, when needed.
I wouldn't take back any of it. Not a single heart break, a single wound, nor a single tear. I have learned to take these hurts and process them fully. I have learned to turn them around into creation. Into the flowing juices of life. Into a deeper and more profound love for myself. Into greater and deeper Self-compassion, along with Self-forgiveness.
Independence is my word for 2021. I have learned a deeper and more complete sense of independence. I learned that I can do this on my own. While at the same time, I learned that I am never truly alone. That my support team is always there to help me and carry me through. That I am connected to each and every single one of you. And of course Mama Gaia, who has supported me each and every step of the way.
Holy shit do I feel EMPOWERED. Empowered like never before. I feel whole and complete. Right here, right now. This is all I need.
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for everyone that has stuck by my side through it all and that has believed in me from the get go. I love you all so much. You are my rocks. You are my reminders of why I do what I do. I am forever grateful for each and every single one of you.
And just as much of a huge THANK YOU to all that had doubted me. To all that had questioned my abilities and my worth. To all whom had left me stranded when I thought I needed someone the most. You have helped build me up stronger than I could have ever imagined. You are the wind beneath my wings. I love you all, too.
And an even greater THANK YOU to ME. Thank you, Pearl, for sticking it out. For diving deep into your shadows. For embracing your darkness as well as your light. Thank you for deepening your connecton to Self. Thank you for not distracting yourself when the pain seemed too horrible to bear. Thank you for feeling it ALL. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the magnificent. You deserve it all. You are beyond worthy for all to come for you. I love you dearly.
Now this INDEPENDENT, strong, and FIERCE lioness is entering 2022 more powerful, more confident, more fierceless than ever before. Here's to more lessons to learn. Here's to more mistakes to bear. Here's to an even Stronger me to come out from all of it.
And I would LOVE for the unstoppable and courageous YOU to join me for the ride.
Here's to the fireworks of 2022!!! BRING ON THE SHOW!!!