The Gift of Loneliness
Updated: Sep 9, 2021
The pain within me is aching at my core.
It's the agony of heartbreak,
That feeling that I just can't ignore
It's a wonder inside of me,
Asking me who I even am.
All I know is the loneliness
That utter shame of loneliness...
That I have always been.
I'm not scared.
I'm not afraid.
For it is something I have grown accustomed to.
From the loneliness of childhood
With such bitter pain
That I have since again and again learned to live through.
Trying to find myself as I rustle through the leaves.
Longing, aching, for just one person to hear me speak.
I raise my head with tears streaming down my face.
For it is you. And this is I.
We both, yet again, have come to this place.
It is not a known person,
Or someone you might bear in mind.
It is a feeling of disconnection.
A feeling of loneliness.
A feeling that doesn't erase the tests of time.
Come on in.
I wave to this familiar friend of mine.
With tears of anguish and remorse still running down my face.
I wail, sit down and please tell me why the hell you showed up again to this space!
Please tell me what it is that you want
From this empty cup I hold?
He replied with a whisper,
"I want nothing.
Only for you to see the depths of beauty to which you unfold."
He goes on, "utter into the night all of your thoughts.
All of your dreams.
And hear them whisper back an echo.
An echo of the magnificence that has made you a queen."
I see you oh loneliness,
I have ached for you coming into my life yet again.
But now I see that you really are truly just my friend.
You are like an old sage with great wisdom
That you come to bear.
You have come with great gifts,
Here to, in fact, only make me aware.
Of the jewels that I carry, that others, too,
Have seen me display.
You aren't that annoying little brat.
That brat that I treated as a stray.
The beauty of the scars that I thought
Were keeping me so small
Now I don them ever so proudly,
As I stand up and rise tall.
As I rise with such comfort in knowing that you all will see.
The beauty, that is the darkest shadows,
That still reside within me.